


Four Is A Good Number

by Demetria_0620



Series: Uchiha Tobirama AU (Clan Swap!) [4]
Category: Naruto
Genre: BAMF Rin, Because it is Obito, But mostly humour, F/M, Humor, Insanity ensues, Jinchuuriki Nohara Rin, M/M, Madara is a Senju, Minor Angst, Obito is a ball of angst, This is from my Clan Swap AU, Timeline-hopping, Tobirama is an Uchiha, doppelgangers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 02:59:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16735806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demetria_0620/pseuds/Demetria_0620
Summary: Nohara Rin is done.Done. So freaking done.She cast one annoyed look towards her former genin team, eyeing the way Kakashi was practically sprawled over Obito’s lap as they both once again indulged in their raging teenage hormones—lips clashing so desperately like they wanted to suck each other life’s out while hands roaming dangerously heated to be acceptable in such a public setting.Done. Rin was so done being the third wheel to this nauseating romance of her boys.(Or Nohara Rin from my Clan Swap AU is so done with ObiKaka and decided to timeline-hopped and kidnapped someone to be her significant other. That someone is our angsty Obito. Angsty Obito was definitely NOT complaining.)





	Four Is A Good Number

**Author's Note:**

> So, this happens. 
> 
> Lol. Told ya that my muse is EVIL.

 

Nohara Rin is _done_.

Done. So freaking done.

She cast one annoyed look towards her former genin team, eyeing the way Kakashi was practically sprawled over Obito’s lap as they both once again indulged in their raging teenage hormones—lips clashing so desperately like they wanted to suck each other life’s out while hands roaming dangerously heated to be acceptable in such a public setting. Kakashi tipped his head, hands sliding down the ANBU armour of Obito's chest before landing between their bodies, somewhere that Rin thankfully did not have a full view of it.

Obito groaned, heated and wanting.

Rin turned around and spat a stream of cold water at them, just because she _could_.

Isobu radiated a gleeful encouragement as both horny boys yelped and finally turned their (betrayed) gaze at her.

Rin blasted them with another stream of cold water.

Done. Rin was so done being the third wheel to this nauseating romance of her boys.

 

* * *

 

 

“Seriously, shishou!” Rin growled in pure rage before slamming her head onto the table. “They’re so all over each other that it isn’t even funny or cute!”

There was an amused huff from the old man in front of her, followed by a manic chiming cackle from the flaming cat on his lap. The Nidaime simply lifted his gaze from the scrolls just long enough to give Rin a kind, understanding gaze.

“Perhaps you would feel less left out if you even out the number?” he suggested, shifting his gaze back towards his scrolls. "What do the young people say these days…double date? Something like that?"

Rin pouted at the Nidaime’s kind smile.

“It was supposed to be a _team meeting_. Not a date,” she grumbled.

“Ah, to be young and in love.”

Rin groaned before burying her face against the flat surface of Isobu’s belly. Her master hummed in that chiding old man way again, before Rin felt his hands patting her head in a soothing gesture.

“Why don’t you find someone of your own to love?” he suggested then, voice dripped with a disturbingly amused tone.

“I wish I can,” the brown-haired jinchuuriki whimpered, lifting her head just long enough to send her sulky pout towards the horribly amused Nidaime. “But I’m the jinchuuriki of Isobu, a double S-ranked jounin of Konoha with a bolded ‘flee on sight’ order on my page in the Bingo Book, former genin student of the Yondaime Hokage, and the apprentice of you yourself, the Nidaime Hokage, who is the famed Uchiha Demon of the Warring Era,” she listed down, shooting him a somewhat pouty accusing look. “Do you know how hard it is to find a significant other with that kind of rep?”

Tobirama made a soft non-committal noise.

“Especially, _shishou_ , when you send the ‘evil eye’ to anyone who tried to court me,” Rin added, accusing.

“I pledge innocence,” Tobirama hummed, though the quirk of his smirk defied his words. “I simply help driving out the weak candidates.”

Rin groaned and threw her hands up in the air with sheer frustration.

“See?” she hissed. “It’s already hard to find a date when they fear me—"

“Those who fear your strength do not deserve you, kit,” Matatabi chimed in from her curl on Tobirama’s lap, arching her back as she stretched. “You need someone who you could punch in the face and would compliment on how gorgeous you looked like.”

“There is no one like that in Konoha,” she whined.

“Not in your Konoha.”

Tobirama made a somewhat annoyed sound despite it was his voice who inputted that opinion.

Rin lifted her head up from the surface of the table, only to frown in confusion upon seeing another Nidaime at the entrance, looking like he was just around her age instead of over hundred years old like the one that was sitting across of her. As if that was not weird enough, said teenage Nidaime was wearing _Senju_ crest on his happuri of all thing.

“Don’t give her any ideas, you insane brat,” Madara’s voice floated across the hallway before he reached the entrance, side-eyeing the teenage version of his husband with the long-suffering expression he always wore around his genius children. “Keep the timeline-hopping and time-travel to yourself.”

The teenage Tobirama smirked somewhat maniacally.

Rin blinked in confusion.

“Shishou, what—”

“He is from another timeline,” the aged Nidaime in front of her let out a sigh, voice heavy with frustration. “My doppelganger who timeline-hopped and time-travelled from another dimension.”

Rin’s eyes widened.

No, not because of the timeline-hopping and time-travel thing. With all the weird things the Tobirama clan has collectively pulled out of literal nowhere since their foundation, it was no surprise if such things were possible. Heck, this might have been going for a long time too, considering how her Nidaime didn’t even bat a lash when his own (very young and teenage-looking) doppelganger came crashing into his house. What that surprised her was…

“IN ANOTHER WORLD, YOU’RE A SENJU???”

Rin could never imagine her Nidaime without his sharingan. This was so cool. And weird. So, so weird. But definitely cool too.

The Nidaime buried his wrinkled face into his palms and let out a long sigh.

The teenage Tobirama crinkled his nose, side-eyeing his older doppelganger with a mildly dubious look. “I’m not overly fond to know that one of my doppelgangers is an Uchiha, you know?"

“Maybe because you’re a Senju that most of your future ended up so terribly fucked,” Madara piped in, swatting a hand across the back of the teenage silver-haired’s head. “We’ve met some of your other doppelgangers, and in most cases, it was your wariness against the Uchiha that created the whole lot of psychotic Uchiha attempting to destroy the world.”

Rin felt slight weirded out hearing that, considering that Madara-sama was a Senju too.

“Ironic,” the teenage Nidaime huffed, voice dry and humourless, “…coming from the man whose doppelganger is the lead villain and the most psychotic among the Uchiha who attempts to destroy the world in a good number of dimensions out there.”

Madara fumed. “I AM A SENJU!”

The teenage Tobirama smirked. “Not in most alternate universes out there.”

Rin decided to ignore Madara’s spluttering in favour of eyeing the alternate version of her master. If this teenage Tobirama has time-travelled and came from one of the alternate universes, then her field of hunt has widened. There must be someone out there that Rin could snag as a significant other after all.

Ruby scheming eyes shifted to stare into her eyes and all of sudden, Rin felt an urge to be stupid and reckless.

“Say, Tobirama-kun?” she purred, keeping her gaze fixed on the teenage Senju and was completely ignoring the way the older Tobirama in front of her has blanched upon hearing her words. “Any chance of you having come across someone single, that would be a good match for me, whose dimension wouldn’t mind if I kidnapped them here?”

The teenage Tobirama tipped his head, looking contemplative.

“Nohara Rin! Stop this nonsense—”

Rin casually gagged the infamous Senju Madara with a thin sheet of water.

Uchiha Tobirama whimpered and buried his face into the flame of his very amused-looking bijuu.

“Any preference?” said the teenage Senju, ruby eyes calculative. “Male? Female?”

Rin hummed thoughtfully. "I'm okay with both men and women, although I do prefer men more," she said. "As long as they don't mind me being a jinchuuriki that could level a nation with a little effort, I'm cool with it. Isobu and I are a package deal, by the way, so they gotta be cool with my bijuu too.”

The teenage Senju pursed his lips, looking deep in thought—and so very similar to his much older doppelganger—before his lips curled to a smile, his next question came in the tone that was almost close to a challenge.

“What if they are some kind of criminal?”

Rin gave him a saccharine grin, purring all too seductively. “I love taming bad boys,” she giggled.

Uchiha Tobirama’s aged face paled to the complexion of a corpse before he decided to nope out of the conversation, snagging the still gagged Madara by the collar and cradled the obviously amused Matatabi to his chest before he Hiraishin his way far away from there, thus leaving Rin alone with the teenage Senju Tobirama from another dimension.

The teenage Tobirama smirked maniacally.

“What if he is a little bit broken after losing the version of you in his world?”

Rin’s saccharine grin softened to a more genuine fond smile.

“Then I would do my best to piece him back together.”

The manic grin _widened._

“I have the perfect man for you.”

  

* * *

 

 

Obito was… _confused_.

He was pretty sure he was dead. Someone has hit him very hard from behind just when he was about to deliver a killing blow to end Minato. The hit was hard enough to knock him out of consciousness, and with the fact that he just killed a good number of ANBU while making his way here and then proceeded to attack the _Yondaime Hokage_ in his mission to unleash the Kyuubi, it was safe to say that everyone already has the order to kill him on sight now.

He wasn’t expecting to open his eyes to see a copy of his own face hovering above him.

Although it was a strangely unscarred version of his face, with one vertical slash scar down the ruby eye and a rinnegan as the right eye, which by the way—what the fuck?

He still hasn’t taken those eyes from Nagato yet.

“Oh, sleeping beauty is up~”

Obito blinked upon hearing his own voice crooned, and would have brought his hands up to break the illusion if he wasn’t restrained with these glowing chains, because he was right _here,_ so who was this stranger that wore his face and didn’t even bother to make it accurate?

“You know, I’m still very confused,” Obito heard Minato’s voice from somewhere around them and Obito definitely did not wince upon hearing the unhidden hurt in that voice.

Nope. Dead. He was dead and has no heart whatsoever.

“I second that, ttebane!”

Something inside his chest twisted at the thought that he was planning to unleash the Kyuubi on Konoha and didn’t care that Kushina would be a collateral loss to his plan. But now, his heart hurt at the thought of her dying. The little fragile thing in his chest shattered at the idea of her son losing his mother and he wondered why he was feeling these when he no longer has a heart to feel.

His doppelganger chuckled, patting his scarred cheek with a gloved hand. It was still jarring to see the unscarred version of himself—yes, he saw the vertical scar over the left eye of his doppelganger, but it was nothing when compared to the twisted ugly flesh of the right side of his face—and Obito couldn’t help the chill that ran down his spine when his doppelganger’s single ruby eye shifted to Mangekyou.

“The seal is completely gone,” his doppelganger decided. “I believe that you’re feeling your own thoughts now?”

“My own…thoughts…?” Obito blurted out, blinking stupidly.

His doppelganger gave him a wry grin. “The slave seal in your heart has been imposing thoughts and desire that was not your own ever since it was applied on you,” he explained, gesturing to Obito’s chest, of which Obito promptly looked down and saw a fresh scar on his chest. “I regret to say that we had to go the hard way of getting rid of it,” he said, nodding to someone behind Obito. “She destroyed it and I revived you back from the dead.”

“From the dead?!”

“We could only get rid of the seal if we destroyed your heart,” his doppelganger deadpanned, flexing his wrists and only then did Obito realised that the glowing chain wrapping around his body and suppressing his chakra was controlled by his doppelganger. “Sorry for the additional scar.”

Obito blinked, half-dazed and half-wondering if he was dead after all and this was how the afterlife was messing with him.

The doppelganger gave him a soft smile.

“Would you promise to not do anything stupid if I release you?” the doppelganger asked, jiggling the glowing chains. “I hate to chain my own self.”

Obito was positively confused even when he nodded his agreement to that request.

“I don’t know,” there was a lazy drawl of a painfully familiar voice. “You look nice all chained up.”

A female voice groaned as someone made a choking noise while his doppelganger barked out an amused laugh.

“Later, Bakashi,” the doppelganger purred in a very, _very_ disturbing way. “I have plans for that pot of honey dust from our last mission.”

The choking person now sounded like he was dying.

“Of all the things I do not want to hear….,” the female voice growled, and Obito vaguely was reminded of Rin, for some unknown reason. “Get a freaking room!”

There was a combined chime of laughter from Minato and Kushina.

“With, or without my doppelganger?” the doppelganger purred, flexing his wrists and the chain promptly vanished into thin air. “Pretty sure I can mokuton a bed big enough for the three of us.”

“Hands off my man, you useless gays,” the woman growled again, sounding much nearer than before.

Then, there was a burst of chakra, and Obito again almost lost his heart when she appeared to kneel in front of him.

_Rin. Rin. Rin. Rin. Rin. Rin. Rin._

It was Rin, but obviously not _his_ Rin. She was not the thirteen years old Rin that died at Kakashi’s hands all those years ago, because this person was older—looking more like a woman than a girl. She smiled at him—warm brown eyes crinkled in a painfully familiar way—as her battle-calloused hands cupped his face in a gentle cradle. There was a lump in his throat as he let his gaze raked all over this strange illusion in front of him, taking in the long mahogany hair that dangled a few inches above her waist, the purple marking on her cheeks that were so painfully familiar and the kind gentle smile that was directed at him.

Uchiha Obito lost it.

“Rin,” he gasped as he broke into tears, all ugly sobs that wrecked his exhausted body and rendered him as a heap of mess that she instantly pulled into her embrace. “Rin Rin Rin Rin Rin Rin Rin.”

Obito clung to her like his life depended on it.

She pulled him closer into the cradle of her arms, hushing him with gentle thumbs over his eyes until he was calm enough to speak coherently. When the ugly sobs have subsided, her hand gently tipped his face to meet her gaze.

“I’m not the Rin that you have lost,” she said, and though Obito already knew it, it still sent a pang to his chest.

“I know,” Obito croaked, slumped weak and boneless in resignation. “I saw her died,” he murmured, looking at his shaky hands. “I held her cold corpse.”

Slender, battle-roughened hands covered his shaking one and held on tight.

“I’m not your Rin,” she said, smiling warmly at him. “But if you’re willing to give me a chance, I would like to work my way to become yours.”

Obito’s cheeks immediately flushed deep pink.

“Holy shit, Rin, that was smooth as fuck—” “Did you just propose—?!”

The woman in front of him glared to the speakers and flared her chakra.

Obito shivered at the powerful surge of chakra that could only translate as _bijuu_ , his single spinning sharingan immediately fixed on the murderous fury that painted the sweetly smiling lips of the doppelganger of his first love.

He also apparently had a very inappropriate reaction to the situation.

Curse the Uchiha’s natural tendency to like dangerous women.

His doppelganger’s mismatched gaze caught on his reaction and sent him a shit-eating grin.

“Well, look like he _is_ a perfect man for you after all,” his doppelganger grinned. "You like dangerous women, aren't you?"

Obito flushed to a deeper shade of pink.

 

* * *

 

 

Obito was thankfully rescued from combusting out of embarrassment by the sensei that he has failed to kill when the man insisted on explanation before Obito’s own doppelganger and the oddly scar-less and sharingan-less Kakashi could launch into a teasing fest.

Bless Namikaze Minato. All hail the Yondaime Hokage.

They were then taken to the Hokage’s meeting room where all of the other Clan Head and members of the council have already been gathered to listen to the visitors’ explanation.

It took almost the whole afternoon for them to explain but by the end of the explanation, Obito was so gratefully glad that this Rin decided to timeline-hopped and stopped him from going through with Madara’s plan. The teenage Nidaime that came with them has piped in to share his input—since the first time he landed here was on the day Obito’s Rin died—and it almost stopped Obito’s heart to know that his Rin has purposely jumped in front of Kakashi’s Raikiri to destroy the slave seal that Madara has put in her heart.

Obito almost broke down again when he realised that he almost helped the twisted dream of the man that killed his first love.

But the living Rin by his side has wrapped a supporting arm around his shoulders, holding him warm and close as the council launched into a rageful argument on what would be done to Obito now, considering that he did sort of defect from Konoha and wreaked havoc while being a nukenin.

“He should be punished!” one of the elders in the council shouted, pointing towards Obito. “We lost a good number of our ANBU to his hands.”

“The actions were done under the implication of _slavery_ seal,” Minato argued, surprisingly in Obito’s defence. “One that could not be removed unless we destroyed his heart, at that.”

“Then, he is a liability now! He is still alive and the seal is still controlling him!”

Obito briefly heard his own doppelganger groaned before the oddly taller teen sunshin directly in front of the screaming elder.

“The seal is destroyed,” he growled, ruby eyes spun into Mangekyou sharingan and Obito almost snorted in amusement when the elder paled, probably freaked out at the sight of the single Mangekyou and the inhuman rinnegan that made up the doppelganger’s eyes. “And are you deaf? We’re taking him back home with us so that our Rin could stop being so depraved.”

The doppelganger smoothly evaded the stream of water that Rin sent his way, laughing when the water hit the elder instead.

“I do not know what you see in him, Kakashi,” Rin growled, shooting a scowl in the direction of the sharingan-less Kakashi. “Jerk-bito is a jerk.”

“Maa, love is blind,” the sharingan-less Kakashi hummed from behind his book, pitch black eyes crinkled in pleasant humour. “And what the hell are you saying. Obito is _hot_.”

The Kakashi with sharingan choked in embarrassment from his perch beside the silently giggling Kushina.

Obito couldn’t help but flushed into a deep shade of pink, much to the amusement of his own doppelganger.

“And you’re just mad because you’re always the third wheel,” Obito’s doppelganger added, flipping across the room to land right beside the sharingan-less Kakashi. “Poor, lonely Rin.”

Rin threw her hands up in the air and groaned in frustration.

“I’m glad I get you instead,” she then huffed, lips curled up into a sulky pout as she practically tugged Obito’s hand and stormed their way to stand in front of Minato. “Hokage-sama,” she growled to the mildly wary Yondaime. “This is an actual threat. I’ll be taking Uchiha Obito with me back to my world,” she halted to flare her bijuu-infused chakra as a warning to the elders when they opened their mouth to argue with her. “If what Tobirama-kun has seen here, and Obi’s own stories, none of you assholes have ever treated him like he belonged,” she turned her head to shoot a death glare at Fugaku, “…even his own clan, who is supposed to have his back.”

Fugaku visibly winced.

There was a wash of dreadful terrifying flare of chakra from all three visitors from the alternate universe as if the Uchiha not supporting one of their own has offended the trio in a deeply personal level.

The teenage Nidaime looked vaguely amused for some reasons.

Obito made a mental note to ask about that.

“Since the only people that have ever cared about him is his former genin team and Kushina-san, arrangements would be done so that they would be able to visit him in our world,” Rin continued on, nodding towards the obviously relieved Yondaime. “Any attempts to take him from us would be taken as a threat and you will personally answer to _me_.”

Then, the air shifted as glowing green chakra shrouded her body while Rin’s warm brown eyes turned to dangerous deep pink.

Needless to say, the whole meeting room was petrified in fear.

No one. No one has ever mastered full bijuu transformation before, yet this Rin could do it so effortlessly.

Obito might have been a bit too dazed under the influence of her powerful chakra, but he was sure that he was done. Gone. He was _sold._

He would still grieve over his lost first love, the bright thirteen-years-old girl that was the light of his childhood, but this young woman? This grown-up Rin that has saved him from himself and now was threatening Konoha so that she could have him?

She’s the possibility that he _wanted_ to explore.

And judging from the way she has roughly tugged him close for a wild kiss once he has landed in her world, he knew that she wanted the same thing too.

New beginning sounds more appealing now.

 

* * *

 

 

**OMAKE!**

 

“Yondaime-sama, are we seriously letting them get away like that?”

Minato hummed, almost bouncing his way across the corridor as he made his rounds in the tower, all the while he was pointedly ignoring the terrified elders that were trailing after his steps.

"Uchiha Obito has both the sharingan and mokuton," one of the elders reasoned and Minato did his best to not flare his chakra in a violent reaction.

“And what of that?” he said with an all too cheerful smile, taking pleasure when the elders blanched. “The timeline-travellers offered to take away a criminal that attacked us into their custody, with an exchange of bijuu training for Kushina. I think it is a win-win situation.”

“We could not afford to lose that kind of power—”

Minato halted, chakra flared violently.

"We could afford to give him a chance of new beginning," he started, blue eyes narrowed in deadly glare at the now horrified elders. "We owed him that much."

The other Rin was right after all. The whole Konoha has failed Obito—especially the Uchiha who was Obito’s own clan, and Minato himself as his sensei who has regretfully favoured Kakashi over his other two students. There was no doubt that they all owe the broken boy this new, hopefully happier, beginning.

Besides, Minato has much more important things to address.

Like the not-so-subtle hints that Tobirama-kun and the other Obito has given to him regarding possible kekkei genkai theft and brainwashed children that was conducted by one of his councilmen.

Minato always knew that there was something eerily wrong with Danzou.

That creepy old man.

 

* * *

 

 

Kakashi was still gobsmacked.

Not only that his best friend—the hero that changed his life—was still alive, said friend also has been twisted and broken to the point that he would attack Konoha and tried to kill their own sensei in his insane plan to unleash the Kyuubi on Konoha.

Thankfully, he was stopped mid-plan and the worst didn't get to happen.

Though, Kakashi still didn’t know how to react to that interference.

The interference that came from another timeline—the timeline where Rin never died and become a jinchuuriki instead, the timeline that Kakashi was born into a pack with far more members than the lone two-member pack he grew up with, the timeline that the Nidaime was born into the Uchiha clan and so many things happened that ended up with their Obito being born with rinnegan as his kekkei genkai and was never an Uchiha.

The timeline that allowed his doppelganger to grow up with a father, a grandmother and the Nidaime as the granduncle that doted on him.

The timeline where Hatake Kakashi was madly in love with Tobirama Obito.

Seeing the three of them together—his own doppelganger with two black eyes and no scar, the Obito with mismatched eyes and genuine smile, and a very alive and strong-headed Rin—has sent a pang to his heart.

It was what he could’ve had if only he recognised Rin’s intention to commit suicide using his own hands. He could’ve done what Tobirama Obito did and rushed Rin back to their sensei so that the unstable jinchuuriki seal could be fixed.

Perhaps if he did that, his Rin would’ve not died at his own hands.

Perhaps if he did that, his Obito wouldn’t be so twisted with vengeance and sorrow.

Perhaps if he did that, they could have their own version of Team 7 in this timeline too.

But now, Obito was practically kidnapped by the other Rin—and honestly Kakashi was glad for it, because Obito would be treated with prejudice and as a weapon if he remained here, in their fucked up village where greedy elders held more power over the Hokage—but what of him? Sure, Kushina and Minato have obviously adopted him by now and Kakashi did have the kunai marked with Tobirama Obito’s seal, so he definitely could hop across the timeline to visit his Obito, yet…

Kakashi felt lonely.

“Stop brooding, pup,” Kushina scowled, hitting his head with a wooden ladle. “He would be happy over there. Trust me, ttebane!”

“Not brooding,” Kakashi croaked, voice still raw from the whiplash of emotion he has suffered since last night’s event.

Kushina shot him a flat gaze.

“Sulking, then,” she decided.

The red-haired jinchuuriki promptly evaded the shuriken that he has thrown her way and blew him kisses as she disappeared behind kitchen’s entrance.

Kakashi then let out a very undignified yelp when a bundle of pinkish infant wrapped in thick orange fabric was suddenly dropped onto his lap.

“Kushina-san?” he questioned, being overly careful as he held the infant.

“Naruto needs a nii-san,” the jinchuuriki hummed, eyes leering mischievously in his direction. “You’re a niisan now.”

“But—”

“You’re a niisan now,” she cut him off without mercy. “Go play with your otoutou while I cook dinner.”

Kakashi wisely did not retort.

If his chest felt a bit warmer as the little bundle of joy smiled at him and held his fingers with those tiny little fists, he wasn’t going to admit it.

Maybe he can have his own family here too.

 

* * *

 

 

“I swear to god that she is a demon incarnate.”

Tobirama hummed in acknowledgement, shifting a bit when his great-grandson crawled closer to curl on his lap so that Obito’s head would not bump against the edge of the table when the nineteen-years-old flopped to a sprawl the moment his head landed on Tobirama’s lap. Mismatched eyes fluttered open and Tobirama resisted the urge to pinch Obito’s cheek upon seeing the adorable pout on that face.

“What did she do?” he asked, although he has a brief idea on the revenge that Rin has unleashed on her teammates.

“I know that the last time she dated was when we were _nine_ ,” Obito ranted, face crinkled in frustration as he added, “but she doesn’t have to molest her new boy-toy everywhere possible.”

“Like how _you_ molest Kakashi everywhere possible?” Madara shot from across the table, not even hiding his amusement.

Obito gaped, cheeks flushed a light pink.

“And her new boy-toy is your own doppelganger,” Tobirama pointed out unhelpfully.

“You’re supposed to be on my side!” Obito yowled in indignance, shooting a betrayed pout at both of his great-grandfathers. "And sure, that makes everything less awkward than it already was. Thanks, great-grandpa," he grumbled, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Tobirama pointedly ignored his sarcasm.

“Speaking of which, what would become of him?” Madara asked, obviously dropping Obito’s dilemma off as if it was not important at all. “Would he be joining the Uchiha? I don’t think he would want to join us considering what my doppelganger has done to him.”

Tobirama shot a comforting smile at his husband when he saw the tattle-tale signs of guilt on Madara’s face.

“Great-grandad,” Obito called out, obviously noting the subtle shift in Madara’s expression too. “It is not _Senju_ Madara’s fault if _Uchiha_ Madara decided to be a psychotic asshole in an alternate universe. You’re not responsible for Obi’s trauma.”

“He’s going by that name?” Tobirama asked, quirking a silver brow up in amusement.

“We can’t both be _Obito_ ,” Obito huffed, crinkling his nose a little bit too sulkily.  “And did you know that his sharingan can make him intangible? It is horrible.”

“Why is that horrible?” Madara asked, sounding a bit comforted and less guilty now.

Obito groaned, rolling around to bury his face into Tobirama’s kimono.

“Because Rin is a jinchuuriki who can level a nation with minimal effort and now she is all hyped-up for couple rivalry, which by the way, is so unfair since Obi’s sharingan’s ability is already irritating to deal with on his own, moreover with his mokuton—even though I’m far better in that, thankfully. But, combine those abilities with Isobu and Rin—ugh ugh ugh, Bakashi and I are definitely at an obvious disadvantage!"

Tobirama and Madara exchanged an amused glance at their great-grandson’s frustrated rant.

“Maybe you could urge Kakashi to activate the white lightning,” Tobirama hummed, amused out of all things, as he ran his fingers through the teen’s dark hair.

“You mean like the one you use for Raijin no Ken?” Obito opened one eye to stare at him before the words registered to his brain and both of his eyes widened in surprise. “Wait, you _activate_ that lightning?”

Tobirama stared back at the ruby eye that was once his with a playful smirk etched on his aged face.

 “Of course I activated it,” he purred mischievously. “It’s a Hatake kekkei genkai.”

Obito was gone from his curl on Tobirama’s lap faster than anyone could blink.

“That poor Hatake brat,” Madara lamented, although there was no pity in his tone at all.

“Poor Yondaime, actually,” Tobirama corrected, returning his attention to his scrolls. “That couple rivalry is going to be entertaining to watch.”

Madara winced.

Then, the door opened and a very disgruntled Kagami walked in with a tray of tea.

"I'm very grateful that I'm already retired," the former Sandaime grumbled. "Those brats are going to be a pure headache."

"A headache for the current Hokage,” Tobirama corrected, voice almost soft and _feminine_ and when he lifted his gaze up from the scrolls, his smile was obnoxiously mischievous, his eyes glowed to the mismatched hue of green and yellow. “Fun entertainment for _us_.”

Madara and Kagami collectively shuddered.

Nope. Minato could deal with this on his own.

**Author's Note:**

> The teenage Tobirama is kidnapped without permission from Foodmoon's [Why Crossing Timelines is Hazardous to the Sanity of Others](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15876540) fic.
> 
> God. I love that insane Tobirama. He drives everyone crazy.
> 
> And Obi really did marry Rin and become Nohara Obi instead. The Kakashi from the universe Obi was kidnapped ended up marrying Hanare, because we can't let him all alone and lonely like that.
> 
> (If you unsure of what happened near the end...Matatabi. Matatabi happens. Poor Minato.)


End file.
